My phone rang about 15 minutes ago and the North Platte NCHS number came across my screen. I was hoping to hear something like, "Congrats! You've been placed in the pool with other waiting couples!"
Instead, I found that our caseworker is missing two important documents: a background check from our local police department (that, by the way, we dropped off two months ago to get filled out and sent in and apparently it hasn't been sent in) and our background checks from the child abuse registry (our caseworker has requested this information three times now and STILL hasn't received it from whatever agency deals with this paperwork). These missing documents are keeping us from being placed in the waiting pool.
For the past 15 minutes Nate and I have been playing phone tag trying to figure out how we can get the background check faxed to a place close to where he's at on campus at UNL (he has no car or bike with him today as he rode the city bus), then we have to find a place where he can get his signature notarized and then fax it back to the Ogallala PD who then has to fax it to NCHS.
When I hung up with our caseworker today I immediately started bawling. I hate crying, but I couldn't help it. I'm so tired of waiting on other people to start our family. I'm so tired of feeling like I have no control. I know some couples who have waited longer than we have and have gone through infinitely more than we have, so I feel bad being frustrated at the situation. But I can't help it...I am incredibly frustrated and feel that all my energy has been drained (and it's only 10 AM here!).
If you're of the religious persuasion, please pray for endurance for us to be able to handle this situation with as much grace as possible.