Reflections on 26.2

Yesterday I ran my second full marathon. The humidity, my crappy back, and the heat during the last 6 miles made it a particularly tough run for me, but my family was excellent crowd support. My husband, son, mother in-law, brother in-law and his girlfriend, and sister in-law and brother in-law and their two kids all came out to cheer me on. 

They had an abundance of great posters. Thanks  Amy for the picture! 

Here's some run-downs of highlights and my thoughts throughout the event: 

Miles 5-6: I ran with Marv from Colorado and Tom from Grand Island during this stretch. Marv is 75 years old and has run over 200 marathons and ultras. He's completed the Leadville 100 TWICE. He told stories about different races, but he was quick to talk about others and rarely talked about himself. I asked him what his favorite race was, and he said he couldn't pinpoint one but that he preferred ultras over marathons. He explained that in marathons, people are out to run a specific time; they run their own races. Conversely, in ultras, people are focused on merely finishing, and because they're so difficult, runners band together to push one another. I think Marv talked me into running an ultra. I caught him coming in at mile 11 when I was coming out at about 13, and he gave me a big hoop and cheer as he ran. Tom was running his first marathon. He was middle-aged, wasn't built like a runner, and wore cheap basketball shorts and his long-sleeve shirt from the event (it was a brutal 90% humidity at the start, and it was not cool by any stretch of the imagination). He smiled proudly as he talked about finishing this race he never thought he'd even attempt. When I saw Tom again, he was at mile 18 and I was at 24...he was still smiling. 

Mile 15: I ran past three teenaged girls who were volunteering at one of the intersections. They cheered as I neared, and as I got closer one girl yelled, "Keep going! You're almost done!" between bites of powdered donuts. Almost done?!? I still had 11 miles to go! And why didn't she offer me a freaking donut? For some reason I hit the proverbial wall at miles 15-20. I was just starting to feel terrible when she yelled this, and I was not in high spirits. It took all I had in me to refrain from yelling at the girl to go back to basic math class and learn how to count. 

Miles 18-23: This was a point of utter desperation for me. My back was aching and the pain had reached down into my glute and hamstring causing me to feel so tight. I was just entering the worst part of the course: an out and back for 7.5 miles on Highway 30--one of Nebraska's most boring highways. The clouds had begun to clear out and the sun beat down reminding me why most sane people avoid summer marathons in Nebraska. I tried switching from podcasts to music back to podcasts. I tried silence for a while. When I felt like I could go crazy, I called my running partner Kristin and left the most desperate voice mail. Fortunately she called back within ten minutes. She kept my mind occupied until somewhere between miles 22 and 23. 

Mile 24: I had to do some walking earlier to try and loosen up my back, but this time I had to take a walk break because I had a side ache and had a hard time getting into a rhythm with breathing because the damn humidity felt like I was breathing into a mask of cotton balls. I also felt nauseated I think from not having enough food in my system.

Mile 25.75: I came to a fork in the road where the course wasn't marked. I assumed the volunteers were supposed to direct the runners which way to go. I got closer and could see one girl, about 16 years old, asleep in her bag chair. ASLEEP. At mile 25. I damn near pushed her out of her chair. The other girl looked to be about 12. I had to shout at her to ask her which way to go, and she just pointed in the direction. No cheers, no good jobs. Just a blank-faced point in the general direction of the finish line. "Unbelievable!" I shouted to nobody. 

Mile 26.2: I looked at my Garmin and saw the finish line was still a tenth of a mile away and cursed the day I started running. 

This marathon was much tougher than my last one. That's what happens when you get older, I guess. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it. There's something about pushing my body to it's absolute limits that makes me feel so alive. I realize how crazy this sounds...I'd love to sign up for a 50k here in Omaha in early October, but I'm not going to. I'm going to cut back on the running for a few months to let my body rest and to give Nate a chance to do the kind of working out he wants to do. He's done a lot of solo parenting this year as I've ran various races, and he's never complained about me running. It's time I did the same for him. Plus...my legs will probably still be tight for the next 8 weeks anyway...

A hitch in the marathon training

About five weeks ago on an 18 mile run, I felt a twinge in my back. It was sharp but short. The rest of the run turned out fine, but afterwards my lower back and right glute were sore and required attention. The pain lingered for about 24-36 hours and then would fade. Each long run after that, the pain traveled from my lower back into my right glute and down into my hamstring. The pain was not unbearable as I ran, and I maintained a good pace. Each time afterwards, though, I paid for it. My right hamstring, glute, and lower back were sore and tight for a few days no matter how much stretching I did. This got worse through the weeks. On Thursday I finally caved and went to the doctor. I found out I have a pulled hamstring....10 days from the marathon.

The doc's medical advice was to sit this one out and let it heal so I don't tear it. His advice to me as a stubborn runner was to sit out for five days, take some steroids during this time, ice/heat/stretch deliberately, and then take my legs out for an easy 2 miles on Tuesday to see how I feel. If I feel good, he said I could run (but there's still a risk of tearing it).

Of course I want to run this marathon. I've put hours of training into it away from my family and have put my body through the ringer to prepare. Plus...my training runs indicate I was on my way to a PR. I've been in a better frame of mind with this marathon than my last. I haven't been as uptight, and it's definitely been a mostly enjoyable process. For now I'm trying to set my emotions aside to make a choice that is smart for my body.

This is the first weekend in about 5 or 6 years that I haven't run. It sounds stupid, but I feel huge and lazy and empty. I confess to have made running my identity. I try to hard to keep Christ as my identity, but I know that running has made its way into my life as an idol.

Marathon #2

I am nearly one month out from my second marathon. On a whim, I signed up for the State Fair marathon in Grand Island that happens on August 23rd. It might be  It will be difficult. It's central Nebraska (which is "fortunate" enough to have some of the eastern Nebraska humidity) in August. On an out and back course. And it's the first marathon GI will hold. This could all translate to humid, boring, and poor crowd support. I knew this signing up, but I wanted to run another marathon and I knew I couldn't train during the school year. So, here I am--about a month out, three stupid-long training runs left. Here's what I'm learning this time around:

• Getting older sucks. For the first time since I hit puberty two years ago (sarcasm), I can feel my body change. I can't eat three bowls of cereal for breakfast and drink two dark beers before bed like I used to without feeling sluggish on my next run. I'm also discovering that the aforementioned diet leads to a stomach pooch that is more difficult than ever to tone. 
• Being a mom means my priorities have changed. Meticulously planned fartlek runs have been swapped for helping little man sound out words while he reads books, settling simply for an easy 3 miler. "Early" morning long runs that start at 8 am now start at 5:30 am before my little guy rolls out of bed. A strict diet means I can only have 2 packs of fruit snacks with 10% fruit juice instead of 4. 
• Long runs are better enjoyed solo. During my first marathon, I trained with Kristin--the best running partner in the world. Now, I'm happy to hit the road for 3 hours or more by myself because it means...well...time alone. I've loaded my phone with audio books, podcasts, and soothing music (instead of pump up music) because this solo time is rare and vital for me to attack the day. 
• Having a small group of folks to run with every now and then is helpful. On Wednesday mornings I have a mid-length run (7 or 8 miles), and I've joined a small group to help keep me accountable. We are all at different stages in life, but it's nice to have company to keep me honest and running early. 
• Sometimes it's okay to rip the shirt off. I've been a runner for over 7 years now. Before this year, I've only ran once without a shirt. Now that I'm training in high humidity, I have little reservations about letting all the goods hang out.
• Slow runs are okay....and are needed. Gone are the days when I could pull a 10 minute mile for 15-16 miles. I'm learning the art of negative splits---conserving energy the first half so I'm not dead the second half. It's making my recovery time much quicker. 
• Hydration is vital. I've had to teach myself to drink while running. Before this marathon, I'd drink and spill water all over my face. If I drank more than 6 ounces, my stomach bounced loud enough for spectators to hear. With time, I've learned how and when and what to drink during long runs. I now drink at least 24 ounces of blueberry-pomegranate Gu Brew during 2+ hour runs.

This weekend I have 18 miles to cover which will bring me to about 40 miles total this week. Then I'll only have a 19 and a 20 miler before I begin a slow taper. If you're out and about in Grand Island on August 23 at 6 am with nothing to do, come out and support the runners with noise makers and funny signs. We'd appreciate it. 

Thoughts on the Vibram Settlement from a Self-Proclaimed Cynic

A friend of mine sent me this article from Runner's World about a lawsuit against Vibram (the maker of the weirdly popular Five-Finger gorilla-looking running shoes) for making false claims of the health benefits of its shoes. I own a pair of Five Fingers. I bought a pair four years ago out of pure curiosity. I did no research before I purchased them. I just knew that my prefered running shoe is a minimal one--low to the ground, not a lot of padding, thin fabric, so the Five Fingers seemed perfect...plus they were on sale...who am I to turn away from a stellar deal on running shoes?! Once I eased into these shoes, I really liked them. However, they were not good for anything more than an easy 3-4 miler. I wore them once for a 4 mile tempo run, and I paid for it the next three day with sore, stiff muscles. That was my fault. Anyone who has been running for more than a few years knows that it takes time to ease into new running gear (shoes, socks, fuel, even clothes...). 

What I find disturbing about this article is the implication that we no longer need to be responsible consumers. The article states, "Bezdek [the woman who filed the lawsuit] Bezd alleged that Vibram deceived consumers by advertising that the footwear could reduce foot injuries and strengthen foot muscles, without basing those assertions on any scientific merit." Folks who bought Vibrams during a certain time frame can file a claim and receive reimbursement for these shoes without even a proof of purchase. 

I do believe companies have a responsibility to be ethical in their advertising. Vibram should have provided research to support their claims. Maybe I'm cynical, but I just don't think that consumers should be able to simply return the shoes because the company didn't provide sufficient data. Shame on the customer for not being a critical consumer. We have a responsibility to be conscious about our purchases, don't we? This lawsuit just seems like an easy way out for irresponsible consumers. I tried accessing Vibram's website for more information on the settlement via the link in the RW article, and it wouldn't work. I did a Google search and sifted through three pages of articles on the settlement, but no actual website where I could find the claims to file. Needless to say, I will not be returning my Vibrams...

No longer a hare

Note: My students are currently writing personal narratives with fairy tale motifs. I try to write with my students each time, so this is the piece I will be sharing with them tomorrow. It's a debrief of this weekend's events. 

The alarm sounded with a screech at 4:30 AM on a Saturday morning. Perturbed, I poked the snooze button and pulled the covers over my head wishing for two more hours of sleep. The cobwebs of sleep were still thick in my head, and last night’s Nyquil had not yet worn off. My head was heavy with congestion and my throat burned. After five minutes of wishing I were sleeping, I mechanically kicked off the covers and swung my legs to the side of the bed. It was race day. Normally on race days I hop out of bed to the alarm, no matter how early, in anticipation for the event for which I’ve spent weeks and hours of my time training. But this race did not excite me. The task itself was daunting: The Double Half Mary. Run 13.1 miles on Saturday and 13.1 miles on Sunday. What made it worse was a lack of preparedness. For every race I’ve ever done, I’ve spent weeks diligently training, running through snow, hail, wind, sinus infections, and sore muscles. I’ve monitored my food intake and documented miles ran, never missing a weekend long run. But this race was different. I was running this race with a new hat: my momma hat.

We were thrust into parental roles a little over a month ago when we began the process of adopting an energetic, lovely, and challenging four-year old. No matter how a couple becomes parents, the event requires a lifestyle change. I no longer had the leisure to run whenever I felt like it because our new son dictated my schedule. My long runs felt exhausting because of the later nights I put in working after he fell asleep. To top it all off, since our little boy moved in, I’ve battled a sinus infection. I simply did not have the energy to diligently train for this race. I did what I could and felt selfish for being away from my family for four hours at a time on the weekends so I could run; I no longer had the spring in my step that allowed me to run 8:30/mile pace. Honestly, most days, I didn’t even want to run.

With my momma hat lingering above me, I lined up at the starting line to run my first 13.1. The starting signal sounded, and I shuffled out feeling more like the tortoise than the hare. It felt like hoards of people were passing me. By mile 10 the sun was hot and my head felt heavy. The trail seemed to be spinning around me. Out of fear of passing out, I slowed my shuffle to a walk and silently cursed myself for signing up for this race…I still had 3.1 miles to the finish line and another 13.1 miles the next day. The last time I had to stop and walk in a race was during my first full marathon. I gave myself a minute of walking, and then picked up the pace a bit. The last 3.1 miles to the finish line were mentally and physically brutal. I crossed the finish line with no sense of satisfaction or pride.

As I walked off the pain of the morning’s run, a fellow runner and momma caught me, gave me a high-five, and yelled, “Great job!”

Sensing my disappointment, she reigned in the enthusiasm and said, “Just remember…this is your new PR as a mom. It’s hard to run and be a mom, and it will be until your little man is grown. I ran my fastest time in years today because my daughter is grown and in college. You’re just entering a new phase in your life. Cut yourself some slack.” 

While I didn’t feel okay with my time that was eleven minutes slower than my PR immediately after this chat, later that afternoon I came to accept my 2:03 half marathon time. I will not be a speedy hare for probably quite a few years as I juggle my role as a mom. But being a mom is something I’ve wanted for seven years, and if this comes with my new role as a tortoise, then so be it.

The next morning my alarm sounded again at 4:30 AM, and despite the soreness in my legs, I woke up quicker than the previous morning. Soon I was pounding pavement for another 13.1 miles. My time was four seconds slower than the previous day’s, but I crossed the finish line today with a sense of accomplishment: I am no hare, but I managed to survive my first month of motherhood AND run a Double Half Mary. I’d say that’s an okay accomplishment.

Deadwood-Mickelson Trail Half Marathon

Last week I ventured to Deadwood, South Dakota to run a half-marathon with my running partner, Kristin. Although Kristin was a trooper and trained all the way up to 18 miles with me during my marathon training, she had never run an "official" half-marathon until this race. It was awesome to join her for this moment. Not only did she run the race, but she ran it in well under two hours smashing her goal all while battling a barrage of recent injuries including IT band issues and a dog bite. Kristin and her husband, Jim, are from the Deadwood/Lead area, so this was also a trip home for the two. It was fun to see their stomping grounds. This particular area of SD, including Spearfish, are gorgeous. The weather was unusually cold, so we didn't get to do much hiking, but we managed to squeeze in a few chilly spurts of hiking and even ventured into an old mine for a tour. The run was on a beautiful course complete with roadside streams, mud puddles, and breathtaking views. The course was mainly downhill, so it was easy to PR on it. I ran a 1:52:59--a PR for me. This wasn't my official recorded time and didn't include stoppint to tie a shoe earlier on, but I think it still counts :) All in all, it was a great mini-vacation.

A pre-mine tour action shot 

A waterfall near Spearfish Canyon

The guy in the middle is Doug; he's a colleague of another runner we know from Ogallala. This was his first half also, and he was a pleasure to run with! About every mile, he'd call out, "Coach! What's our pace?" Dutifully, I'd holler out our pace and mileage...and he'd mutter some sort of profanity and a concern that he might not survive with us...but he did! He ran the half in under two hours as well. It was fun to push each other. 

Providing entertainment for the camera man

Last 1.5 miles of the course...still smiling!

The Runner's Rut

It's been awhile since I posted a running update...perhaps that's because for the past two weeks I've been in a running rut. About three weeks ago I ran a half-marathon that was a trail race. Cold temps and a tougher terrain made the run difficult, but I did run a PR.

The look on my face says it all: "Where is the bleepin' finish line?!"

I felt pretty good about it, yet after that race, my motivation to run declined drastically. Usually spring and temps high enough to run in shorts gives my running mojo a new boost. But lately all I've wanted to do after work is watch TV and eat cookies....

A few weeks ago I tried out my Vibram Five-Fingers for a short three miler. I've been wearing them on my dreadmill runs for up to five miles and have done fine. On the day that I strapped them on, it was 50 degrees, I had a day off from school, and I found myself feeling as free as a naked toddler. This ensued in a sub 8 pace for much of the run (MUCH faster than my treadmill runs). I noticed a little tenderness in my calves that afternoon, but it was nothing unbearable. The next day when I tried to get out of bed, I nearly fell over because my calves hurt so bad. I felt like my legs could not support me; it was a feeling similar to my post-marathon soreness (which was terrible). The pain kept up for a few days. My 10 miler that week was atrocious. Normally I'm a light-footed runner and can't hear my steps over my music, but on that particular Saturday I sounded like an elephant. I couldn't flex my feet to land on my mid-foot, so instead I was landing flat-footed which in turn made my hips sore for the next week. In short, my careless Vibram running led to two weeks of lower body misery, ocasional cursing, and perhaps is what sparked my desire to trade running for binge eating. I began flirting with the idea of just giving up running for a month. It's been two years since I've taken more than a week off of running. Last night I set my alarm for 7:30 so I could set out for my scheduled 11 miler. When I closed my eyes last night, I gave myself permission to sleep past my alarm and maybe skip the run.

Then the morning came. I woke an hour before my alarm and could not fall back asleep. I checked Facebook and notice a post from a local running group that said: "The air is warm, the birds are singing. Get out and run!" I have to say, runners can be pretty damn annoying. We also tend to be a competitive breed (either with each other or with ourselves), and I couldn't let this annoying runner taunt me with his sickeningly happy Facebook post. Begrudgingly, I grabbed my gear and set out for Lake Z to rack up the miles.

Besides the raging wind for the last four miles, it was a pretty good run. It wasn't my fastest, but I still ran a decent pace which puts me on track for another PR at my next half in two weeks. I don't know what was different about this run, but afterwards, I felt much better about running. Perhaps the sun and a little time alone to think and pray with no papers to rush back home and grade was all I needed.

It also helped that Nate sprung an early birthday present on me today: a new Garmin and four packs of Honey Stinger fruit chews! My Garmin is about three years old and lately has been losing satellite connection during my runs which messes up the total distance and pace counts (which, for an anal runner like myself, is maddening). And the Honey Stingers are a treat to myself at mile 10 on my long runs. They're like Cliff Shot Blocks, but are much easier to chew and are made with honey and other natural ingredients rather than weird stuff.

If you've been running for any length of time, you've experienced the "runner's rut." There's not much to do other than run through it. These crap moments are what makes our training tough, but they also make us stronger mentally. Oh, and a word of advice: don't rush into minimalist running--especially with those crazy gorilla shoes. As great as they feel while running, pushing too hard too fast will equal pain.

Running (and living) through pain

I knew it wasn't going to be a good run this morning the first time I pressed my snooze button. I rolled out of bed at 6:45 after three snoozes and choked down a few pieces of toast and some Powerade while reading a few chapters in Hebrews. At 7:30 I was still sitting at my kitchen table, barefoot and in pajamas. The night before I had made plans to meet some of my running friends at 8, and it is about a 20 minute drive (depending on the number of red lights) to our typical launch pad. I trudged to the bedroom and began my typical Saturday morning dig for my running clothes. No surprise: they were all dirty. They didn't smell too bad, so I put them on anyway. A guy at a running store once told me that SmartWool socks can be worn for a few runs before being washed...I hope he wasn't joshing me. By 7:45 I sprinted out the door with one shoe tied, my hands filled with my Garmin, my mid-run fruit chews, my non-nerdy fanny pack, and my headphones. I arrived a few minutes late (luckily I have gracious running partners), frazzled, and already short on breath. This isn't gonna be pretty, I thought to myself.

I was right.

Des and Amy casually carried on conversation while I focused on a futile attempt at regulating my wacky breathing. As we racked up miles, my breathing became more out of sync, I felt a twinge of pain beneath my left rib, my left shoulder throbbed, and I felt dizzy. I limped along with them trying not to focus on the pain. We arrived back at our starting point after 7.38 miles so Des and Amy could head home, but I still had 4.22 miles left in my run (someone check my math here..) to get to my 12 miles that my training plan insisted I run. I stopped for a minute or so to part ways with Des and Amy, check my pace (8:28...seriously, these ladies make me do the craziest things), and then I was off. Back up the hill to complete my last leg. I slowed the pace down a bit to what seemed like a tortoise pace, but at least the burning in my rib went away. I resisted the urge to peek at my Garmin, and just kept running, trying to focus on my music and ignore how crappy I felt.

I ran the last .10 mile with my arm up, eyes glued to the screen of my Garmin and came to an abrupt halt at 12 miles. A coughing fit ensued and snot shot out onto my sweaty gloves. I bent over to catch my breath for a few seconds. When I got to my car, I checked my pace, hesitantly. I did not want to see the numbers....

I was pleasantly surprised. Not bad for how terrible I felt throughout the full 12. I love running, but today during my run I hated just about every minute of it. Some runs are just like that, but the satisfaction gained at the end of a hard run is one of the greatest feelings. Running is a lot like life; when life gets tough, we just have to keep going. And when a run is hard, we just have to keep running. Eventually the pain will cease, and we'll be able to look back with a sense of satisfaction for how we've grown through the pain.

In one week I'll be running my first half marathon of 2013. It's a trail run in Lincoln, so I don't quite know what to expect for a time. I'll post an update after the race!

Branching out

Currently I'm trying to warm up after a fairly chilly 7.5 mile run. Luckily the temps were double digits and much of the snow is melted here from yesterday's 50 degree weather, but the wind was biting and made for a frozen, fat-feeling mouth. Today's run was a bit different; instead of heading out solo, I met about 10 strangers at a lake here in town. A few weeks ago I joined Facebook again after a year hiatus so I could try and re-connect with some old friends and find some new running chums. Omaha has a great running community, so it was easy to connect with some runners through Facebook. After swapping a few private messages, I found a group to run with this morning.

The runners were varied in paces, distances, experience, but they were all encouraging. I fell into a group with two other women who definitely pushed me today. I'm used to my own running routine where I set the pace, I dictate when I stop (typically halfway through my intended mileage for the run, I stop for about a minute to re-gather myself), I dictate the mileage. At about mile 5.4 I found myself peeking at my Garmin, wishing for a break. The other runners didn't seem bothered, so I didn't say anything and just kept running. Soon a group of three ultra-marathoners caught up to us and we chatted about local trails, races, etc. They were running 20+ miles this morning, and I immediately felt inadequate. Eventually the ultras took a different route...I was a bit thankful because the feelings of inferiority were beginning to make my legs hurt!

By mile 7 I was chasing my new running partners who, it seemed, had kicked up the pace to finish the last half mile strong. I couldn't keep up. This is the first time I haven't been able to keep up with adult runners (I definitely couldn't keep up with some of our XC runners). Immediately the mental self-assault began. When did you get so slow? Why can't I maintain steady breathing? Are my legs frozen? You should not have had that beer this week! I let them sprint out the last quarter mile while I trudged towards my car. We walked a bit to cool down, made plans again to run another time, and parted ways.

After I climbed with stiff legs in my car to drive home, I looked through my Garmin to evaluate my distance, pace, etc. A smile crept across my face. I ran an 8:33 pace for nearly 7.5 miles, non-stop. I haven't pulled that kind of pace on a long run since June. Though I couldn't maintain the pace that my running partners kept, I managed to reach a new level of fitness, I didn't take my usual half way break, and I met a few new people who weren't bothered by the snot frozen to my face (because everyone had snot frozen to their face).

Our move has been tough, but today I felt like I had a small victory. When I arrived home, I celebrated a bit and treated myself to breakfast, coffee, and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and some computer time. I keep reminding myself that small milestones are better than no milestones...

Marathon musings part 2

It's 48 hours after the marathon. My legs are so tight that squatting, climbing up or down stairs, and brisk walking all make me feel as if my legs could snap off at the hip. Blisters, callouses, and bruises adorn my feet. They look more like Frodo's than my own. Running is out of the question for a few days. I attempted a jog down my street yesterday that turned out to be more of a slow shuffle. Despite all of this, I feel like smiling because I can now call myself a marathoner.

My training seemed relatively easy. My 20 miler was challenging, but I didn't struggle too much. After running all 26.2 miles, I have a new respect for marathoners. It was nothing like I expected. I mentioned in my last post that miles 22-26.2 were a great challenge, and I can't begin to tell you how much of an understatement that is. It was around mile 22 or 23 when I saw Nate for the first time since about mile 9, and when he asked how I was doing, I choked up and muttered, "awful." My body has never been through that much before. I could tell I was dehydrated, but my stomach was empty of nutrients at that point, and the more I drank at each aid station, the more I could feel my stomach bounce and make that disgusting sloshing noise that made me want to throw up. My feet throbbed, my quads burned, and my calves cramped. When the finish line was finally in sight, tears immediately filled my eyes and I let myself cry the last 25 meters. But I wasn't crying because of the pain, I cried because of the sudden sense of accomplishment: a sprinter turned marathoner.

Running can be such an emotional experience for me. Seeing 10, 000 people crowding the streets with one goal in mind: to finish, chokes me up. It's not often you see that kind of unity. At the starting line, a woman pushing a little boy in a wheelchair came alongside me wearing a shirt that read: I run because my son Thrasher can't...yet. At mile 12 my dad and I passed a young boy running with his mom. "How old are you?" my dad asked as we came alongside him. "12," he responded. 12 years old! A big race like the Lincoln Marathon is filled with inspiration that keeps you going even when you don't want to.

I had a few cheerleaders along the route. Nate and his siblings and their kids appeared on the course exactly when I needed a boost. My nieces ran alongside me about mile 21 or 22 and yelled, "Go Aunt Danielle! Run faster!" And Jim and Kristin (my running partner) were at miles 3, 15, 22, and the finish holding signs that read: Worst parade ever and Don't puke--this last one is courtesy of our head XC coach; for several seasons now, a don't puke poster shows up at just about every one of our XC meets with a few of our runners' parents. Not only did they make signs, they had shirts made for the event! AND they had goodies for both Nate and I at the finish line. They sent Nate home with a bag filled of Trader Joe's snacks, and they gave me the coolest necklace that has two charms--a silver one that reads 26.2, and a larger gold charm sits behind the silver one that has Lincoln Marathon and the date of the race engraved on it. So not only did Kristin train with me almost every Saturday and some insanely early weekday mornings, bring me Gatorade at halfway points, and listen to me babble on and on about running and teaching, she was there on race day with her husband to offer an incredible amount of support. When I saw them again at mile 22, I couldn't help but smile even when I wanted to puke.

Post marathon picture with Jim and Kristin (photo stolen from Kristin's blog!)

I told my dad I'd never run another marathon again when I crossed the finish line. But after 48 hours, I think I've changed my mind. Even if I didn't run my goal time, running a marathon is still an accomplishment like no other. Crossing that finish line is a moment I'll never forget...and that makes me want to do it all over again even if it means being stiff and sore for a week afterwards.

Post Marathon Musings Part 1

If you're looking for a humbling experience, go run a marathon. Yesterday was the big day: 26.2 at the Lincoln Marathon. I've devoted 14 weeks to training, eating wisely, and sacrificing my Saturday morning sleep-in sessions. The training seemed easier than the actual marathon while the run was by far the most challenging activity I've ever completed. I set out with a goal of 4:30 and kept at the pace easily until roughly mile 22. You know "the wall" that many runners reference when talking about marathons? Yeah, it exists. And it's huge and terrible. I'm not quite sure if I was properly hydrated for the race, and the sinus infection I contracted that week didn't help matters. When I hit the wall I was extremely aware of the searing pain in my hamstrings and quads as well as the feeling of nausea creeping into my throat. My biggest fear was that I'd puke, spilling all the nutrients I'd been conserving for the past 72 hours, and I wouldn't be able to finish what I'd started. So, when the nausea reached the back of my throat (yes, I'm aware of how disgusting this is), I stopped to walk...another thing I had previously vowed to avoid. I allowed myself about 15-20 seconds of walking before I picked up the pace and ran until I felt again that I might puke. I followed this method for the last 4 miles. I finished my first full marathon in 4 hours and 49 minutes. It was tough--physically and mentally. And it was humbling. I'm a competitive, goal-driven person, and while I wouldn't admit this to anyone immediately after the race, I confessed to my husband on the drive home that I was disappointed with my performance. In my FCA lesson today we talked about the praise-driven performance---praising God even when we don't meet our goals or expectations because we realize that God works all things out for good for those who love Him (Rom. 8:28). Like Job, I want to praise God even when things don't go my way. When Job found out that his kids were tragically and suddenly killed, he fell down and worshiped, praising the God who gives and takes away (Job 1:18-21). I wish I had a natural inclination to praise God in all circumstances; hopefully I can develop this attitude of constant praise. While I didn't meet my goal time, I do feel blessed that God allowed me to run 26.2 miles. I learned much about my faith, grew more disciplined, and gained a friend: my running partner, Kristin. 

It's late, and I'm tired---so I'm breaking the marathon musings into two parts. Later this week I'll post photos from the day as well as a few highlights. Stay tuned!

Run down

Today I am stuck at home in bed with a 101 degree fever and what is likely a sinus infection. What sucks is that I felt a cold coming on early this week, and I tried to take it easy--but my crazy schedule this week simply didn't allow me to take a break. On Wednesday after school I drove to Omaha for the NETA conference. I presented Thursday and then drove back to Ogallala (about a 5 hour drive) on Friday to make it back for Nate's last concert. Then after the concert, I drove to Kearney (2 hour drive), arriving a little after midnight, in order to set up for the NeWP youth writing festival we held yesterday. So I spent about 7 hours in the car on Friday....gah. I drove back home yesterday, ate a quick dinner with my husband, and then went to school to meet the English teacher who will be replacing me next year. I hobbled in the door last night a little after 9 feeling ragged.

It's been downhill ever since. I've been dizzy, shivering cold, clammy, with a pounding headache and completely plugged nose. Luckily the burning in my throat has ceased a little. I couldn't squeeze in my 8 mile run this weekend...it's the first run I've missed since starting my training over 12 weeks ago. The marathon is one week from today, so I need to kick this bug. I'm hoping to get in the doctor tomorrow to get a shot of antibiotics (despite my extreme fear of needles!). If you know me, you know I have a hard time taking a break. I still have lesson plans to write, a quiz to create, and papers to grade. So the fact that I'm in bed while my to-do list sits in the other room with nothing crossed off, kills me. If you have any suggestions for getting over this quickly---pass them my way. And if you're the praying kind, throw up a few for a quick recovery!

Marathon update

The hard part of my training is over. Yesterday I ran 20 miles--my longest run of training. My running partner and good friend, Kristin, was kind enough to bring me Gatorade and Kleenex at mile 5. Then she met me at mile 8 to run the rest of the way with me. She's a great distraction! At mile 19.5 when I began making faint noises of discomfort, she was quick to encourage me, and it helped carry me through the last half mile which seemed to last FOREVER. It was a nice, cool, misty, rainy run. The sun peeked its way through the clouds about 14 miles in and warmed us up. Overall, it was a good run. My legs aren't too sore today, and I feel ready to tackle 26.2 miles in three weeks. I am thankful that my mileage begins to taper this week and will continue to diminish until race day: May 6th.

This year my husband, Nate, and his sister and younger brother will be running the half-marathon. This will be Nate's fourth half, Amy's second, and Scott's first. I'm excited to run the first half with them as they're a fun bunch of people. When Nate, Amy, and I ran our first 5k sometime around 2007, Scott cheered us on with a McDonald's breakfast burrito in hand. He's come a loooong way and has made some great lifestyle changes in the past few years. So though he may not see it as this, I look at it as a celebration of his accomplishments. I'm proud of him. I'm also proud of Amy for training for the half during the last stretch of her dissertation (a slightly time consuming process). And my dear husband despises running...so, I'm proud of him for coming back to it year after year.

This year our nieces (Denelle, who will soon be 6, and Alexis who is 7 going on 17) are running the kids mile around the state capital the day before the marathon. Alexis was a little hesitant to consent to such a feat, but Denelle proudly proclaimed that she is signed up for the mile run. Last weekend we were back home for Easter, and right before I set out for my Saturday morning run, Deni stumbled into the living room half-asleep. "Are you going running?" she asked. When I confirmed that I was in fact going running, she stated sleepily, "Well I'm running the mile marathon the day before your marathon." It was super cute. I will be there the day before the marathon with signs for the girls and hugs to offer at the finish line. And I'll probably tear up when Amy, Scott, and Nate turn off at 13.1 to enter the stadium and cross the finish line. I will likely be a blubbering wreck when I cross the finish line myself.


Needless to say, I'm excited for the weekend of the marathon :)

Realigning my focus

Last week was a rough training week for me. I wanted to run an 8:30 pace for my 5 mile run on Tuesday; when I finished, I checked my Garmin to see an 8:59 pace. Disappointment crept in alongside self-berating thoughts.  Throughout the day on Wednesday I found myself dreading the 9 miles I needed to log after school. It was a cloudy day, and all I wanted to do was curl up on my couch with a book. I felt 25 pounds heavier during my 5 mile run on Thursday. I love running, but it really was a lousy running week for me.

On Friday we attended a Good Friday service at Nate's home church where I was reminded of the price of my sin. I've never been so affected by the crucifixion as I was on Friday evening. For a majority of the sermon my vision was clouded by tears. After the congregation slowly filtered out of the sanctuary in the dark, I lingered in my seat a little while longer contemplating all I had neglected in the past few weeks. I have pushed aside Christ and filled that spot with selfish, worldly desires.

I started this marathon training with intentions of glorifying God--pushing myself to new limits that I knew couldn't be attained without focusing on Christ. But in the last few weeks I traded my focus on Christ for a focus on myself. After my 18 miler, I grew too proud of myself and began growing a bit egotistical about all I have accomplished in the last 15 weeks. Last week was miserable because my focus was all screwed up. I was more worried about myself and how crappy I felt when I should have been more focused on how I could glorify God in my running. During my 14 miler on Saturday, I knew I had to realign my focus. When I think about all Christ went through so I could be counted as righteous, I am overwhelmed. This unconditional love Christ demonstrated for me on the cross should motivate me to work hard through the crappy runs and aches and pains. Running 26.2 miles is nothing in comparison to what Christ suffered here on earth.

When we begin to be motivated by fast times, recognition, and other forms of worldly success, we've lost our focus and we will eventually be defeated. It's hard not to focus on this when that's what we're surrounded by. But as believers we should lead an antithetic life--one that's opposite from what the world lives because we know that everything in the world (including our success) is temporary and will eventually let us down. We have our hope in eternal things--and though we can't gain more favor with God by doing certain things, we should strive to glorify Him in all we do...it's what He deserves. "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1 Cor. 10:31).
And I know I used this verse in my last blog post, but I don't mind being repetitive! John 3:30 states, "He must become greater; I must become less." If God is to be my priority and my center, then I must become less. As my miles increase to an all time high this week, I'm planning on saturating myself in God's word in order to make Him first and to bring Him the glory He deserves.

Marathon Training Update

 Yesterday ended badly. A conflict with a colleague tipped me over the edge and sent me into a fit of rage. I'm a hot-headed person in some situations (especially situations concerned with my job and doing what's best for kids), and yesterday it took a lot to calm me down. I spent much of last night dwelling on how angry I was. But my run this morning (18 miles= painful) gave me a fresh perspective on it all. And that's part of why I love running so much. I had nothing to do for 9 miles (until I met my running partner) but listen to music and think. Running and writing are probably the only two activities that bring me down to earth. This marathon business is time consuming and is the biggest physical challenge I've encountered, but I love the guaranteed "think time" that comes along with it. It's a great way to clear the mind and gain a sense of satisfaction. I'm afraid to think of how wound up I'd be without running!

Marathon Update

6 weeks until the marathon. 12 weeks of training under my belt has brought about the following:

Prior to half-marathon number three in Arvada, CO this winter

• A craving for fried chicken. I've tried hard to eliminate processed, fried foods from my diet. With thesis writing, essay grading, and other stresses---this dietary restriction hasn't always happened. I've eaten my fair share of candy, and today I ate a doughnut :( Gah. On Saturday I ate not one, but two hotdogs cooked over a campfire...I couldn't resist. My stomach hated me for the next 48 hours. While I've had a few slip ups, overall, I've done a pretty good job of eating nutritious foods. For the past 12 weeks, though, I've craved fried chicken. It might be my post-marathon treat...
• Massive blisters on my second toe of my right foot. For a minute I considered posting a photo...but then I realized how nasty that would be. The blisters really did me in last week. I hobbled home, barefoot, after my 8 mile run on Wednesday, my toes screaming. I did some research and purchased a pair of toe socks made specifically for running. My toes are fat little things, and my second one rubs like crazy on my big toe. I tried out the socks on my long run this weekend and am pleased with the results. I think they'll be a good solution until I purchase my next pair of running shoes. A post-marathon pedicure is definitely in order--perhaps I'll eat fried chicken while having my feet sand blasted....
• A renewed appreciation for Lauren Hill. 'Nuff said. 
• A deeper respect for running. Train for a marathon, and you'll understand how challenging running can be. The tiniest actions like slightly dropping a shoulder, leaning forward too far, or constant heel-striking can turn a somewhat pain-free run into a terrible experience. Too many sugary foods (or wine!) the night before a long run can stop you dead in your tracks. Transitioning from 30 degree running to 80 degree running can do incredible things to the body. Running is truly a science that I'm only beginning to understand.
• Nerves. To be honest, I haven't thought too much about the marathon....until this week. I have two more difficult weeks left in my training. This week I'll log 36 miles with an 18 miler on Saturday, and in two weeks I'll be up to 40 with a 20 miler that Saturday. So far I've only reached 16 miles on my long runs. I've been blessed to have Kristin to join me for either the full run or for the second half of my stupidly-long runs, so that makes it more bearable. But as the miles increase and the weeks before the marathon fade, I find myself wondering if 26.2 miles is even possible for me--the former sprinter. I'm excited for the challenge but am terribly scared of failing.

Update (I'm all out of creative titles!)

It's been too long since my last blog post. The past few weeks have been crazy! We had our first youth writing festival through the Nebraska Writing Project last weekend. 20 high school students attended the event at Elkhorn South High School. It was encouraging to see students devote a Saturday to writing. I hope to post more about the festivals after our Kearney festival is over. Because my schedule has been so packed, I don't have anything terribly insightful to share, but here are a few updates:

On Friday I took the day off to work on my thesis and address the comments my advisor sent me a few weeks ago. It took me all day, but I do believe that, in terms of content, my draft is complete. I may have a few organizational issues, and of course I still need to complete all the crazy formatting requirements that UNL expects. In the next few weeks I'll work on inserting my appendices, but after writing 36 pages and reading a small mountain of books and articles, the bulk of my research and writing should be finished! Before I celebrate too much, I'll wait to hear final word from my committee. This thesis is my first major academic accomplishment. It's been the most challenging experience so far, but it has reaffirmed my love for researching and writing.

This morning my running buddy (Kristin) and I ran 15 miles! This is the first time I've ran anything over a half-marathon distance. My feet hurt when we finished, but other than that, I'm feeling pretty good after it. The weather was beautiful and the conversation was even greater. The only glitch came when we ran into a coyote at about mile 9.5 on a desolate gravel road. It was the first time I've ever seen a coyote, and I freaked out. Kristin, who grew up in the Black Hills and has experience with coyotes, handled it like a champ. While I cowered behind her, she stomped and yelled at the coyote, scaring it off. At the time I was holding an opened energy gel. After the coyote retreated into the field from which he came, and after my legs stopped shaking, I realized I had squeezed my tiny packet so hard that gel covered my hands. It's hard to believe the marathon is only 8 weeks away! While I have a few reservations about the race, I'm looking forward to the challenge.

My Running Buddy

It's week four of our marathon training, and the miles are beginning to climb. Our midweek runs are beginning to grow longer (we're up to 5 right now), and our Saturday runs are also increasing in distance. We've had to tweak our training plan a bit in order to prep for the Ralston Creek Half Marathon in Arvada in a few weeks. Yesterday I ran 10 miles. It was not the best feeling run in the world--my legs felt heavy and tight, and a side-ache plagued me at mile five--so I was thankful to have a running partner to push me through: Kristin.

Several weeks ago Kristin and I made a habit of running together on Saturday mornings. I've never really been a huge fan of running with people, but I'm hooked now. Like I told Kristin during our run, I look forward to our long runs together because it's really the one guaranteed break I get during the week from work and grad. school. I love Kristin's company. She's so kind-hearted and genuine. She's one of those really thoughtful people who likes to put others before herself; she told me on Saturday that she and her husband were planning to come cheer Nate and me on at the marathon in May (despite the four hour drive!). She's not boastful, even though she could boast about a lot: she's an accomplished musician, incredibly faithful to her husband, and has made huge strides in living a healthy lifestyle. Though she's not training for any race, she shows up every Saturday morning (even when it's cold and windy) to run what most people would consider an insane amount of miles with me, and she listens to me rant about my job and my incessant chatter about running. Kristin inspires me to dig deeper into the Word of God, treat my husband with more respect, and to be less selfish.

The photo above is from Kristin's blog and was taken after our run a few weeks ago when we conquered the bypass road here in town.

What I've Learned While Running

I've completed week one of marathon training with little problems other than sore shins and quads (nothing new). Though week one is over, I've really been running 20-30 miles a week for the past year...as I ran with my Saturday running buddy (Kristin) last Saturday, we talked about making a list of things we learn while we run. So...here's my attempt at that:

1. Always carry Kleenex while running. A mile into our run last week, blood began gushing out of my nose. Fortunately, my running partner is a planner (unlike me) and we were near a gas station.

2. Just because you are a runner, doesn't mean you can eat anything you want. A few weeks ago I ate a cookie, a piece of peanut brittle, and a few pieces of candy 45 minutes before my run. About a mile in, the side aches nearly doubled me over forcing me to kick my pace back to what seemed like a turtle's shuffle. I'm learning to be smarter about what I eat. My goals: no soda, cut back on the candy (during thesis writing sessions or grading sessions, I tend to pound down the sugar), and eliminate processed foods.

3. Long runs are more bearable with a buddy. From June to October I ran with our XC kids, so I've grown accustomed to running with people. It was a bit disheartening to head out for a run on my own after XC season. About a month ago, Kristin and I began running together on Saturday mornings. She is my motivation to get my you-know-what out of bed on a Saturday morning and out in the cold. It helps that she's a great conversationalist. She's a mellow person while I'm rather high strung, so our personalities balance each other out well. I feel blessed to have her as a running partner especially because she's not training for anything right now. She's just running with me out of the goodness of her heart :)

4. Nice running gear makes it easier to run. I realize this seems shallow. But, Nate and I decided to splurge and purchase a few staples to make our road to 26.2 even a little less painful. I HATE treadmills with a fiery passion and have decided I'll do all of my training in God's great outdoors. So I invested in a nice running coat built for 30 degrees or colder, a pair of windblocking compression tights, a nice pair of running mittens that actually keep my fingers warm (wearing two pair of gloves was getting annoying), blister prevention wool socks made for running (it's gross, but I get nasty blisters on my toes when training hard), a few cold weather running hats, a nice thermal running shirt, and another pair of shoes to swap out during training (primarily to wear on my long runs and the day of the marathon). And though I still feel self-conscious walking out the door in my butt hugging running tights, this gear sure does make running long more comfortable.

5. I still love running. Nate got back from a run this week and found me stretching with a goofy smile on my face. He looked pissed. I asked him how his run went, and he replied: "You really love running that much? I'm sick of it." Running is my distraction. It gives me time to digest the day's or week's events and get away from grading, researching, cleaning, etc. It allows me to push myself, and it physically makes me feel great. Hopefully I'll still love running after running 26.2 miles!

This is just the tip of the iceberg; I'm sure to learn more as I start adding the miles. Week one of training is completed---17 more to go! In five weeks we'll be running a half-marathon in Arvada, Colorado. Pray for good weather--Colorado in February can be nasty!

26.2 Miles = Daunting

A few days ago I started reading Hal Higdon's Marathon: The Ultimate Training Guide (4th ed.). I needed to read something to give my mind a break from thesis work and to prep me for the marathon. To be honest, I've been pretty nervous about it lately. For the past week questions have been flying through my mind: Can my body even handle the impending beating it's sure to receive during training? How will I manage teaching, writing my thesis, and training for a marathon? Am I disciplined enough in my eating habits to prepare my body for averaging 30-40 miles a week?

It may seem shallow, but my biggest apprehension this week is swapping the speed I've gained over the past 6 months for stronger endurance. This weekend I logged ten miles--6 on Saturday and 4 today. And though my run Saturday sucked (a dizzy spell forced me to stop for a few minutes at mile 4 to gather my wits), my run today felt good, but I couldn't help being a bit disappointed at the 8:07/mile pace that showed up on my Garmin at the end of the run. Up until Thanksgiving I ran my 4-4.5 milers at 7:45/mile and earned a PR during the Turkey Trot 5k: 23:21. So, to see an 8:07 pace hurt the 'ole ego just a hair.

The more I read, the more I learn that a first-time marathoner's goal should be simply to finish. I think this will be difficult for me because I like running fast, and my ego likes seeing low times. But if I want to accomplish my goal of running 26.2 miles, my training will need to slow down due to the massive amount of miles I'll be logging. My ego will simply have to be set aside until after May 6th....

For now, I guess I'll focus more on miles than on speed. My training officially starts on December 27th...scary! Until then, I'll continue to run simply to enjoy myself. On another note...I am in the market for new running shoes to swap in with my winter training shoe (my current racing flat already has seen between 540-600 miles). Any suggestions for a durable marathon shoe?