Just in case...

I find myself using the phrase, "just in case..." quite often these days.

We cleaned out our office/spare room last week "just in case" we are placed with a baby sometime during the crazy, hectic school year.

We gave up some of our extra duties at school "just in case..."

This week I've spent hours in my classroom creating entire units: handouts, quizzes, assignments, etc (something I don't normally do until, well, when I teach the unit)..."just in case...."

We picked out a few names..."just in case...."

You get the hint.

But I'm running out of things to do with the excuse "just in case." If you know me at all, you know that I am constantly moving, planning, dwelling. So now that I'm running out of things to do "just in case," I find myself in a predicament. What do I do while I wait? What can we do when we are told to "be patient and wait for the call"? What can I do when women all around me are giving birth or announcing pregnancies--something I can't do? What do you do when you have no control?

I pray. I pray every day for our hopeful-future child and his/her birth parents. And this brings me comfort--but it doesn't get me up and moving...so still, I feel unsatisfied.

If you're a praying person, pray that my soul would be calmed, that I would find peace in simply living and carrying on with my daily life. Pray that I would not dwell on what might or might not be.


The Roberts said...

Praying...i struggle with this as well. although not the same topic but i'm always saying "what if" i need prayer for a clearer mind too. what you are going through is a hard thing. i must say you impress me about being so open about it and not keeping it held inside you. i tend to hold everything in then burst all at once.

Danielle said...

julie--i'll say a prayer for you as well :) thanks for your prayers. hope the move is going well for your family.

Heart's Cry said...

Danielle-I'll pray for you in your waiting. That you rise up on eagles wings. My heart goes to you and know that if you keep the, "just in case" way of thinking that God will continue to grow and use you! I am praying for a beautiful child to go in that beautiful heart!