Late night thoughts

I just finished grading a batch of essays that I've been avoiding for the past four days, and though it's way past my bedtime (12 AM), I suddenly have this rush of energy. So, I'm attempting to write myself to sleep.

My rush of energy might be attributed to the fact that my brain hasn't slowed down at all today. The to-do list is long. Grading, planning, reading, putting together my presentation for the Rural Sites Network Conference in Little Rock, deciding which songs in our musical will be staged and which will be blocked, working out a practice schedule for Quiz Bowl that will fit with all the kids' schedules, responding to the pile of unopened emails in my school inbox.....yikes. I read somewhere that a teacher will make up to 1500 educational decisions in a day. I totally believe this crazy statistic; it's a miracle that my head hasn't exploded, spewing brain matter all over the faces of my 9th graders.

The anticipation for our first home study meeting tomorrow might also be keeping my eyes open. I don't feel nervous for it. I don't really know what to expect, but I'm okay with that. I've had too many expectations be completely shattered within the past four years, so I've learned to develop a more carefree, expectation-free mentality with some things. I'm not really worried about answering any questions our caseworker might ask because we don't have anything to hide (other than all the times I cheated on tests in high school...oops...I let the cat outta the bag!). Dealing with infertility has been much easier lately---sure, I still feel a twinge of pain when I see pregnant bellies and read pregnancy announcements on Facebook, I always will. But, I know that adoption is what God wants for us. I'm humbled to think that God would want to bless us with a child through adoption.

The massive amount of coffee (eight cups) I've consumed today might also be keeping me awake.

Whatever is doing it better go away quickly so I can fall asleep!


Erin said...

I will be thinking of you guys tonight. Rejoicing with you that you ARE moving forward!!! Each step gets you closer :)

Amy said...

I am thinking and praying right now that your home study is going well. I am sure they will see what loving, amazing people you are. Can't wait to hear how it goes!