5/26/11

Waiting

I've never been very good at waiting. In Kindergarten my table partner was too slow at his homework--we couldn't move on to another activity until both of our work was done, so I did it for him until I got caught and moved to a different table. After I graduated, I couldn't wait to leave--so much so that I decided to rush just so I could move into my dorm a week earlier. To be fair, I went through two days of sorority recruitment and then quit. And now I find myself waiting again. We have officially completed all of our initial paperwork to get us into the adoption pool. We're waiting to receive confirmation that we were approved and placed in the pool....then, we'll wait some more to be matched with a birth mom/birth parents.

So what do we do while we wait for an undetermined amount of time? Someone asked me the other day if I was going to work on a nursery this summer....and though it's so tempting to clean out our spare room and convert it into the nursery of my dreams, I don't think this would be good for me. I would have a difficult time walking by an empty nursery day after day wondering and hoping for the child that may or may not be. Someone else recommended that we start looking for a daycare provider. How do you even get on a waiting list for daycares when you have no time frame of when you'd need daycare? We have been attending several classes and workshops designed for adoptive parents--prenatal drug and alcohol exposure, newborn care classes, parenting a child whose birth family has a history of mental health issues, etc. And though these are great, I feel like I need something that's "child-free" to take my mind off of our adoption. (I hope people don't read that wrong! I want our adoption to go through, but I don't want to dwell...)

I read a few articles about what to do during this "wait time" in a recent issue of Adoptive Families magazine (a great magazine for people adopting, interested in adopting or wanting to learn more about adoption). In one article readers weighed in and gave suggestions about what they did during this wait time---and the best advice I read was to have fun and spend as much time as possible with your partner. I can do this. So---we're planning a last minute hiking trip with another couple to the Boulder area for this weekend (hopefully the weather holds up for us!). And...a vacation to the Portland/Seattle area is in the works for the end of July! Ever since I started reading Don Miller a few years back, I've wanted to visit these two cities. We've decided not to get too crazy planning our trip since we want it to be laid back with no rushed, set timetable. But we will drive so we can see more of the country and we know for sure that we want to do some hiking around the Mt. Hood area. I would also love to visit the Pike Place Market in Seattle. And we have to visit a jazz club---that's a given. Nate and I haven't been on a true vacation where we call the shots since our honeymoon almost five years ago, so we are stoked about the trip.

As much as I want to fill my time with preparing for a potential baby---I'm just not sure my heart can take it. So if we get a call, we will be unprepared--we'll be crib-less, bottle-less, etc. But I'm okay with that. We'll make it work. Until then--I'm going to enjoy the time I have with my husband.

4 comments:

Huskerbabe said...

It sounds like a great plan! And truth be told, when you have a baby you don't really need a whole lot, and what you do need can be bought in WalMart in less than an hour.
I've always wanted to spend some time in the Pacific Northwest. The rain and green are very appealing to me, especially in the heat of July and August.
BTW, I wanted to tell Nate but I haven't seen him. I went to the last concert and as a mom of a special needs kid I was very touched to see the kids in his choir. It made me cry, and I'm not usually a cryer. Please tell him thank you from me.

Anonymous said...

John Lennon wrote: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". Enjoy the time you have with Nate and yourself, because when you ARE blessed with your child, they become your everything, the next chapter in your life. Don't worry about the wait, the anxiety, the stress, because worrying about something won't make it any easier or quicker. It will just drag on and cause you pain. Live your life and enjoy every minute of what God has given you! When you look back on these years and your wait you can think about all of the things you did during that wait, and then you will smile! Later

The Roberts said...

So true. I would feel the same if I were in your shoes about walking by an empty nursery. i will however say i love how when people's adoption finally happens(and it will happen for you in time) the baby always fits in like the perfect match. i'm hoping you get your name in the "pool" and come out with the baby that was made for you and Nate to raise.

Elissa said...

I've often joked to Patrick that God always seems to think I need to learn a lesson in patience...and I'm tired of that lesson! Which is exactly why Patrick says I have to keep learning it...lol!

Love that you and Nate are going to make the most of your time together this summer! We love you guys!