The blessing of waiting

It's been awhile since I last posted about the subject of adoption and infertility. It's also been a long time since I sat at a computer with headphones squashed in my ears....but Nate's doing the dishes and watching some cop show, and I needed peace (music) and a place to set my Bible. So I'm at the kitchen table---with headphones in my ears, writing about adoption and infertility--a topic I've been avoiding since December when we were closer than we have ever been to growing our family.

For the past few weeks, adoption has been creeping into my thoughts and prayers more. Throughout the day (and at the most random of times) I find myself growing weary about the waiting...my morning prayers often drift towards the topic as I pray for hearts of couples facing unplanned pregnancies to be open to adoption. And today during my morning quiet time, I read a few passages about waiting--something I know well but am not fond of.

Psalm 40 was one of those passages that struck me, specifically the beginning. David writes, "I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God" (Psalm 40: 1-3). I'm thankful for my Bible's footnotes; because at 6:30 in the morning, I tend to a miss a few things. My footnote reads: "[...] David received four benefits from waiting [I bolded and underlined them in the verse above]. Often blessings cannot be received unless we go through the trial of waiting."

Of course, I began thinking about the blessings we've received while we've waited. The list is long...but I think the most significant is my learned dependency on Christ. In all the heart wrenching moments we've experienced in the last three years, I've turned to various outlets: friends, family, a busy schedule, alcohol (for a short time)---to bring me comfort. And while most of my friends and family tried hard and were sympathetic, nothing satisfied me or brought me peace like Christ. I went through a season where I questioned God and nearly turned my back on Him. Why would a merciful, all-knowing, all-powerful God not step in when I'm in this much pain? was all I could think....I'm trying to identify the changing moment for me--but I can't think of what it was the made me drop this mindset. Honestly, I think I was just sick of wallowing. It was exhausting. When I finally stopped going to bed right after work, and when I realized that alcohol was providing only a temporary relief from the pain I felt, then I could open my heart to accepting that God had other plans for us. It's been the most difficult season of my life, but I'm not sure that I'd trade it even for a child. God makes us strong in our weaknesses (2 Cor. 12:8-10), and like my footnotes read, sometimes we need to endure waiting in order to be blessed. Child or no child...I am blessed.

So, like David, I'll wait. And while I'll wait, I'll try not to dwell on what I don't have, but praise God for what He has given me.

Social Action Project: News Clip and Photos

On Monday, our local news station from North Platte came out to interview some of my students (all because one of my students thought to write them a letter inviting them to come) about their Social Action projects and their project night. Here's a link to the video and text version of the story, or you can watch it below:


Project night was a success! All but three of my students showed up for the event, and there was an incredible turn out of community members, teachers, and family members. It was so great to sit back and watch my 13-16 year old students from all walks of life, some with all kinds of baggage--talk to adults about their projects. There were so many high points from the night that I can't even begin to list them all...but, I will share a few photos and captions from the night:

The two in this photo have taken on the biggest project...by far. Being XC runners, they're passionate about fitness. Naturally, they're planning and organizing a 5k race (the Leprechaun Chase!) that will raise money to benefit our local rec center. They have already been working on this project for a month. Their race isn't until March 18th, so they've committed themselves to working hard long after our Social Action unit is completed. Already they have met with rec center staff to pitch the idea, met with the city manager to gain approval, mapped out a course, contacted the police department and fire station to be sure they had the go ahead, created entry forms....you get the idea. The girl on the left is an 8th grader taking my English 9 class and the young man in green is a 9th grader...an 8th and a 9th grader are planning a 5k race! These kids blow me away year after year....

These young men have come SOOOO far in their lives. They truly are two of my heroes...they're just two of the kids that keep me coming to school day after day. They are pictured here with the Executive Director of SCIP (Sandhills Crisis Intervention Program). They sought to spread the word about the good work SCIP does to help victims of domestic violence. They handed out a ton of swag and were hits of the night!

That young lady in the blingin' shirt is Kelsey. Kelsey is passionate about her dog, Jack, whom she trained herself and shows in 4-H. She decided to take Jack to one of our assisted living facilities here in town to visit with some of the residents. Her presentation and project were simple, but what stuck out to me was the day after project night she told me she'd love to go back and do it again! The kid in pink made cookies and sold them at his church and at project night to raise money for new football helmets.

This was one of the most endearing projects of the night. These two young ladies wanted to inform the community about our Community Based Education program at school, and they wanted to show that "Special Education students are people with feelings and hobbies." The CBE program provides our Special Education students with life skills training. They are pictured here with several greeting cards that one of our Special Education graduates made in order to sell and raise money for a new coffee pot in the Special Education classroom.

These strapping young men collected so many items for the Keith-Arthur County Food Pantry!

Meet Ms. Abigail. She's incredibly quiet and introverted, but when you give her a mission...watch out! She's great at public speaking, and for her project she decided to organize and host a soup supper to raise money for CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates). She raised $372 to donate to the organization!

A shot of the entire gym bustling with activity.

Social Action Project Night

Today is the day! In two hours my English 9 students will be sharing their projects with community members, parents, teachers, and peers. For the past few months we've been studying Social Action and what it looks like in the lives of everyday people right here in Keith County as well as what Social Action looks like in history--specifically, during the Civil Rights Movement. Students grappled with the horrifying injustices during the Civil Rights Movement, and they worked hard to understand Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's text Letter from a Birmingham Jail. Students were tasked with taking their own action in the community to help someone. They had to come up with a plan, research to prove that action needed to be taken, act, and then reflect on their action. Many of them have worked SO hard on these projects. I have 13-16 year olds taking on projects that many adults wouldn't or haven't taken on! A few weeks ago they wrote business letters to people in our area informing them about and inviting them to project night, so tonight they'll get to show off their hard work to those interested.

It's been an exhausting process. I woke up about 1 or 2 AM last night and tossed and turned with nerves until 5 when I finally fell asleep again. I about went crazy today as I tried to answer all the last minute questions students had and keep track of all I still needed to do for tonight. But...to see students working so hard to make positive change in the community is totally worth it. Even if it's not 100% of my students working hard....I have so many who have really thrown themselves into this project: two students are planning a 5k fundraiser run, two students used their passion for music to perform on the piano for residents in a local nursing home, one student organized a soup supper benefit to raise money for our local CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) group, two students who are passionate about treating SPED kids equally created a totally endearing poster featuring some of our SPED kids doing things they love to show that they're people with emotions and hobbies, one student who struggles so much in school read to pre-schoolers a few weeks ago and then created the coolest poster over her project, two girls I wrote about last week put on the youth basketball camp, two boys put around plastic bottle recycling containers around the building and took their first load to the recycling center today and recycled 7 lbs of plastic bottles....I could go on and on. Even if I'm nervous about those few students who may not show up or even complete a project, tonight I'm beaming with pride at the kids who have worked their tails off on their projects. I can't wait to see them show off their stuff!

I'll post photos from the evening later this week...and the news station from North Platte visited my classroom today, so if they post the video on the news, I'll post it here.