Of course, things can never be smooth for us. We are complication magnets.
The week before Christmas we had a family team meeting with all of the caseworkers involved in our fostering/adoption of little man. We had been preparing our subsidy and paperwork to send off to the Department of Health and Human Services for his adoption. The subsidy and continued Medicaid would help us to continue providing therapy for little man, would cover any meds he might need in the future, and would financially cover any future trips to psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, etc. He has experienced quite a lot in his five years that will take professional help to address. He has also developed some extreme behavior tendencies that often prevent him from achieving success and could possibly interfere with academics later on in his life if help is not provided early. Because he's still a foster kid, all of his current treatments are covered by Medicaid. While we filled out our paperwork for the subsidy and Medicaid, we were assured there would be no problems; he would receive both a subsidy and Medicaid. So at this family team meeting, we found out that DHHS denied him for Medicaid. DENIED. Paperwork was re-submitted, phone calls were made, emails sent, and still he was denied.
Tonight we met with a representative from an agency who is handling little man's permanency plan who was able to explain this denial more fully. Apparently this agency, which deals with all of the foster and foster to adopt cases in eastern Nebraska, was notified the day before a new policy change with Medicaid that would essentially deny kids Medicaid on certain grounds that are incredibly gray rather than black and white. It sounds like little man's paperwork was the first to be processed with this new law. Currently we have two options: accept only the subsidy (a monthly stipend) and move on with the adoption process or take DHHS to court and drag out the adoption an undefined amount of time (but I can only imagine this would take months). There is a local advocacy agency who has agreed to provide us legal representation because this new policy change happened so quickly and doesn't appear to have followed the standard protocol for changing policy (essentially this is a revision to a law, so it's filled with heavy legal stuff that I don't even pretend to understand); ultimately this agency is suspicious of this recent policy change. What none of us can figure out is how our little man can be eligible to receive Medicaid now to cover treatment for his extreme behavior issues, but when he is adopted, he will no longer be eligible for help with no explanation as to why he will not receive help. It's as if these people think his adoption would magically cure him of any issue he would ever have...despite being diagnosed with psychiatric disorders from licensed medical professionals. The documentation we've provided in support of little man receiving Medicaid is undeniable: he needs help and will continue to need help. With our teaching salaries, there is no way we could afford to provide him the help he needs without assistance from Medicaid. If this new Medicaid policy goes left unchallenged, it could mean scores of Nebraska foster-adopt kids won't get assistance they need; it could mean that wards of the state would wait longer for adoptive families because there may not be assistance for these families.
Part of me wants to just accept the subsidy and scrape by eating rice and beans simply so we can make little man official--so he can be a Helzer. It would just be that finalization that I think he needs right now. Selfishly, I don't wait to take DHHS to court because I want to move on with our family. But....another huge part of me feels a huge responsibility to see how this plays out in court for the sake of other kids. I've always been one to fight for injustice; if I can intervene, why shouldn't I? Gah. There's just too much to think about.
So, in the next week we'll be contacting an attorney from the previously mentioned agency to see what we can do, crunching numbers with our anticipated subsidy figures and the cost of mental health professionals---and praying we make the right decision (all while parenting and teaching). If you're the praying type, please pray we would have wisdom and peace throughout this process.
1/8/14
1/1/14
2013 Recap
Last night Nate, little dude, and I rang in the new year by making (and eating) personal pizzas, playing board games, and finally, eating ice cream. Little dude made it until 9:15, and Nate and I fell asleep an hour later watching TV. Eight years ago this would not have been my ideal New Years Eve celebration. But I really can't think of a better way to ring in the new year. Typically I do my year end reflections on NYE, but my body decided it needed sleep more than reflection. So, this morning on my snowy trail run, I took time to mentally rehash 2013. Here's a quick recap of the major events:
- I continued running and added five more half marathons to my list and a new PR.
- I left Gretna Public Schools with the intentions of not teaching again and then ended up taking a last minute job the day before school started at Burke. I was hesitant about taking the position, and I really wanted to stick to my guns and take a year off of the chaos, but I knew this job (and the insurance) would be better for our family's financial stability. While I still wish I didn't have papers to grade, parents to call, and long hours of planning, I am content with my decision to jump back in the teaching game. I appreciate the experience I am gaining by teaching in an urban setting; it lends new perspective to teaching.
- We sold our home in Ogallala and bought a new home in Omaha. It was a long road, but we finally found a home we both liked and were able to move in May. Our neighborhood is quiet, people on our street look out for one another, we have great neighbors, a park and pool at the end of our street, and are relatively close to school and other necessities.
- We became licensed foster parents in June and soon after added a vibrant, joyful, and intelligent four (now five) year old to our family. This has by far been the best part of our 2013. Little dude is an answer to our prayers. The transition has been no walk in the park, but when we reflect on how far he's come, we are simply astonished. We cannot wait to make it official when we can adopt him later this winter.
- We said goodbye to my Grandma Kush right before Christmas. This was a tough loss for the family, but we can rejoice knowing she was a believer and is now spending eternity with our Savior.
God blessed us richly in 2013, and we're anxious to see what 2014 has in store.
12/29/13
Hanging onto Christmas
It's four days after Christmas, and I am still listening to Christmas music. Last night I drank cocoa out of a Christmas mug one of my students gave me a few years back. My tree and decorations are still up. Nate mentioned taking them down today, and he got a scowl in return. I just can't let go of Christmas this year.
On the 19th my Grandma Kush passed away after battling cancer. This was not out of the blue as she had been steadily declining for a few months, and we did get to say goodbye. Nonetheless, it was a difficult loss for my family. My grandmother was one of the most selfless people I have ever met. She was always thinking of others. If you went to my grandma's house and told her you liked something at the house, she'd send it home with you. Because of this, our Christmas plans changed a bit. We were originally going to spend a few days at home before we galavanted to Ogallala to see our best friends. Our last day of school was the 20th, so we decided to stick out the last day and then drive to Columbus on the 21st after we celebrated our Christmas at home. We're a new family, so we had big plans of starting new traditions for the holidays. Nate and I always spend Christmas Eve looking at Christmas lights while drinking a steamy beverage, and since just about every little likes bright and shiny things, we wanted J to experience this, too. J had been struggling with his behavior for two weeks (I think he's struggling with missing his birth family...more on that later), and had a terrible day at school on Friday. We struggled through dinner and one tantrum wanting badly to keep this tradition alive. We managed to get all of us in the car, pajama clad, and spent an hour gawking at lights. We planned on doing the traditional cookies for Santa shenanigans afterwards, but as the Scottish poet Robert Burns wrote, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry" (he used way more Scottish vocab than that). When we got home, all hell broke loose. J had a major melt down that ended with us putting him in bed early kicking, screaming, scratching, and begging to get out. We spent thirty minutes in the hallway catching him when he ran out putting him back in bed. Santa did not get cookies that night.
The next morning we ate monkey bread, opened presents, played with our new toys, packed and hit the road for Columbus. The next few days were spent prepping for what would be a beautiful funeral service to celebrate my grandmother's entrance to heaven. Though we spent our days in a hotel, we had an adjoining room with my parents, brother, and his fiance so we enjoyed quality time with them. There was just a twinge of sadness that clouded our time as we all struggled with losing grandma.
After this, we drove to Broken Bow where my parents now reside to spend a few days. We exchanged presents with the family on Christmas Eve and then eagerly awaited Santa's visit on Christmas morning. J has never shown any interest in Santa before (he even told our 4 year old nephew that Santa was fake), so we really hadn't played the Santa game. But my brother had an app on his phone that showed where Santa was, so throughout the day, J and my bro tracked Santa's whereabouts. J's excitement grew. When we put him to bed, he was anxious. Nate and I traded off for an hour laying next to him, helping him fall asleep. J was scared of Santa because he couldn't see Santa's mouth through his beard; he worried that Santa would catch on fire when he came down the chimney. Eventually, he fell asleep. On Christmas morning, in true J fashion, he came tearing into our room at 5:30 screaming, "He came! He came! There are toys in the stockings!" We spent the morning opening presents from Santa; I think we all enjoyed watching J's excitement. Because our car broke down on our way home from church on Christmas Eve, we had to catch a ride with my brother and his fiance back to Grand Island to spend some time with Nate's family. Though it was a bummer not having our own car, it was great to spend a few more hours with Nathan and Abbi.
J was so excited to see his cousins; he had been asking about them for the past two days. We enjoyed Christmas day in our pajamas as we watched all of the kids tear into gifts and then play the day away. We all went our separate ways at the end of the day. Because our car was still in Broken Bow waiting for my dad to fix it (thank God for mechanically inclined papas!), we enjoyed extra time with Nate's mom and his brother, daughter, and his new girlfriend and her kids.
6 days, 3 towns, 2 Christmases, 1 funeral, and 1 broken-down car later....we were home. Saturday was spent unpacking, purging the house, and playing. We ended the night watching J's gift to me: All Dogs go to Heaven. J fell asleep in his new tent, snuggled in a sleeping bag. While Nate showered and readied for bed, I spent a little extra time downstairs staring at our tree (which was decorated this year with my Grandma Kinzer's old ornaments) thinking about the crazy vacation we had already had. My grandmother died, we didn't get to see our best friends in Ogallala, we're having to pay hundreds of dollars to fix the remaining crap on our Subaru, and we weren't home as much as we wanted to be. Surprisingly, none of this bothers me (well, we really were looking forward to spending time with the Josjors, Parrishes, and Cones in Og) because all of this was shrouded with family. Maybe that's why I can't let go of Christmas this year.
On the 19th my Grandma Kush passed away after battling cancer. This was not out of the blue as she had been steadily declining for a few months, and we did get to say goodbye. Nonetheless, it was a difficult loss for my family. My grandmother was one of the most selfless people I have ever met. She was always thinking of others. If you went to my grandma's house and told her you liked something at the house, she'd send it home with you. Because of this, our Christmas plans changed a bit. We were originally going to spend a few days at home before we galavanted to Ogallala to see our best friends. Our last day of school was the 20th, so we decided to stick out the last day and then drive to Columbus on the 21st after we celebrated our Christmas at home. We're a new family, so we had big plans of starting new traditions for the holidays. Nate and I always spend Christmas Eve looking at Christmas lights while drinking a steamy beverage, and since just about every little likes bright and shiny things, we wanted J to experience this, too. J had been struggling with his behavior for two weeks (I think he's struggling with missing his birth family...more on that later), and had a terrible day at school on Friday. We struggled through dinner and one tantrum wanting badly to keep this tradition alive. We managed to get all of us in the car, pajama clad, and spent an hour gawking at lights. We planned on doing the traditional cookies for Santa shenanigans afterwards, but as the Scottish poet Robert Burns wrote, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry" (he used way more Scottish vocab than that). When we got home, all hell broke loose. J had a major melt down that ended with us putting him in bed early kicking, screaming, scratching, and begging to get out. We spent thirty minutes in the hallway catching him when he ran out putting him back in bed. Santa did not get cookies that night.
The next morning we ate monkey bread, opened presents, played with our new toys, packed and hit the road for Columbus. The next few days were spent prepping for what would be a beautiful funeral service to celebrate my grandmother's entrance to heaven. Though we spent our days in a hotel, we had an adjoining room with my parents, brother, and his fiance so we enjoyed quality time with them. There was just a twinge of sadness that clouded our time as we all struggled with losing grandma.
After this, we drove to Broken Bow where my parents now reside to spend a few days. We exchanged presents with the family on Christmas Eve and then eagerly awaited Santa's visit on Christmas morning. J has never shown any interest in Santa before (he even told our 4 year old nephew that Santa was fake), so we really hadn't played the Santa game. But my brother had an app on his phone that showed where Santa was, so throughout the day, J and my bro tracked Santa's whereabouts. J's excitement grew. When we put him to bed, he was anxious. Nate and I traded off for an hour laying next to him, helping him fall asleep. J was scared of Santa because he couldn't see Santa's mouth through his beard; he worried that Santa would catch on fire when he came down the chimney. Eventually, he fell asleep. On Christmas morning, in true J fashion, he came tearing into our room at 5:30 screaming, "He came! He came! There are toys in the stockings!" We spent the morning opening presents from Santa; I think we all enjoyed watching J's excitement. Because our car broke down on our way home from church on Christmas Eve, we had to catch a ride with my brother and his fiance back to Grand Island to spend some time with Nate's family. Though it was a bummer not having our own car, it was great to spend a few more hours with Nathan and Abbi.
J was so excited to see his cousins; he had been asking about them for the past two days. We enjoyed Christmas day in our pajamas as we watched all of the kids tear into gifts and then play the day away. We all went our separate ways at the end of the day. Because our car was still in Broken Bow waiting for my dad to fix it (thank God for mechanically inclined papas!), we enjoyed extra time with Nate's mom and his brother, daughter, and his new girlfriend and her kids.
6 days, 3 towns, 2 Christmases, 1 funeral, and 1 broken-down car later....we were home. Saturday was spent unpacking, purging the house, and playing. We ended the night watching J's gift to me: All Dogs go to Heaven. J fell asleep in his new tent, snuggled in a sleeping bag. While Nate showered and readied for bed, I spent a little extra time downstairs staring at our tree (which was decorated this year with my Grandma Kinzer's old ornaments) thinking about the crazy vacation we had already had. My grandmother died, we didn't get to see our best friends in Ogallala, we're having to pay hundreds of dollars to fix the remaining crap on our Subaru, and we weren't home as much as we wanted to be. Surprisingly, none of this bothers me (well, we really were looking forward to spending time with the Josjors, Parrishes, and Cones in Og) because all of this was shrouded with family. Maybe that's why I can't let go of Christmas this year.
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