I don't wear a cape and I don't have a giant S on my chest

Author's Note: This post is not intended to condescend anyone who has responded with phrases similar to the ones described below. I simply want to lend insight to adoption.

When we tell people we're adopting, most people respond with enthusiasm fraught with an air of curiosity because adoption is unknown territory for most. Some have even been blatant with their curiosity and have asked why, right up front. These responses don't bother me.
Here are the responses that rub me the wrong way (even if they are sincere): You guys are so great for adopting or It's so awesome that you'll be giving a child a better life. I typically respond with a smile and a politically correct, Yup, it's pretty exciting! But here's what I really want to say:

Actually, we're not that great. We, like most people, want to have biological children. And while I dream about the child God will give us through adoption, I still long to have a child that has my husband's nose and eyes and my insanely long fingers and toes. Adoption is our only choice to grow our family. And I am no superhero donning a cape and a giant S plastered on my chest simply because I am adopting. The real superheroes are the birth parents who are honest and courageous enough to choose adoption.

I don't want people to think I'm some sort of martyr because I'm adopting a child. I'm simply a woman who desires to be a mom, and adoption is the path God has chosen for me to fulfill this desire.

1 comment:

Heart's Cry said...

I love this. Gave me pause and lots to think about. I have learned so much about this experience through my friend Jenny and your blog. Thanks for being real.