A few weeks ago, my family traveled out of town to spend time with friends, so on Sunday, we attended their church for the first time. Our kids were slightly apprehensive about attending the children's ministry, but once we got them up to the room and they heard lively worship music and saw kids jumping in a bounce house, they they had a sudden burst in confidence and ran off leaving us in their dust. When we picked them up after church, they chattered about the new friends they made. In the hour that we were separated, they were able to make one friend a piece. Admittedly, I was slightly jealous. In the 10 months that I've lived in this new town, I've managed to make approximately two friends...TWO. My kids have seriously put me to shame in the friends-making department.
 |
| Hipster friends at an abandoned gas station |
It wasn't always this way for me. As a child, I was never at a loss for friends. There was a group of kids that played baseball and football together in our neighborhood. I played basketball at recess with Kevin and Andrew formed a secret club with Jenny, Tracy, and Becca. Even after a move to a new town in the 7th grade, I managed to befriend people other than my cousin who was the same age as me. Most of these friendships lasted throughout high school, and I'm still friends with Hannah, Autumn, and Celeste--a friendship that has lasted since we were in the 7th grade. Even in college, when it was time to start over without the people who had been my safety net for six years, I managed to form meaningful relationships with others. But something changed when I hit my late 20s. And now, I'm creeping closer to 30 and am finding it damn near impossible to meet people in this new town I'm living in.
I could list a hundred awkward quirks that are unique to me that might prevent me from engaging well with others (like the fact that I'm terrible at small talk, freeze up in large group situations, and nearly every sentence I utter starts with
Today on NPR...). But I'm betting that I'm not the only person who struggles with meeting new people and forming meaningful relationships as an adult. Maybe we can call it: Adult onset introversion. Do we just become more introverted with age? Honestly, it feels like too much work to meet people and form relationships (I KNOW...I'M TERRIBLE). it's easier to just sit in my rocking chair and enjoy the people in my home. I'm conflicted, though, because I know we were put on this earth to connect with others--and a large part of me wants to form meaningful relationships with others especially in my new community that is actually not so new since I've lived here 10 months now. So, sufferers of adult onset introversion: How do you connect with others? What quick and dirty tips can you provide those of us whose kids are putting us to shame in the friends' department?
